‘Mommy, can I have you forever and forever?’

‘Yes, love, forever and forever and even more forever.’

‘Even when you will be dead?’

‘When I die, you can keep me in your heart. But, I won’t die until I’m really, really old and that’s a long, long time from now.’

‘Was Baby Sister really old?’

‘No, sweets, she was really young. Just a baby.’

‘Was she really sick?’

‘No. We don’t know what happened to her, love; she was just born before she was ready.’ (Not strictly true, but the best I can do, for now.)

‘Maybe she just needed a few more seconds, Mommy.’ Pause. (I think about every time I’ve said, ‘I just need a couple more seconds, E.’) ‘Next time, you have to give those to her. You have to give her a few more seconds.’

‘Baby Sister’s gone love. She’s not in my belly anymore.’

‘For the new baby in your belly, Mommy.’

‘There’s no new baby in my belly, sweets.’

‘I know. But for next time. When we get a new Baby Sister, right, Mommy?’ Pause. ‘And then you should get a big hole in your belly. So we could look in and see if Baby Sister was getting dead or still living. Would that be good, Mommy?’

‘It would be, love. It would be very good.’

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