We have very few pictures of Anja and none of them are very good. At first, I hated them all, thinking they did not show her how I remember her. I thought I’d never want to look at them. But, I do. All the time. Today, I am posting one photo of her. We never bathed her, just held her as she was, and so the pictures show her still fresh from my body – though, I suppose ‘fresh’ is not a word one regularly applies to the dead.

R is much more private about the photographs than I am. I want to show them to everyone. To say, here is my baby; wasn’t she gorgeous? But, I respect his feelings and understand them, too, and so I am only going to post this picture for today. As an early birthday present to myself, because I just miss her so, so much today and wish she was here and this is the closest I can come.

Here she is, my lovely girl. My so-missed daughter. My Anja.

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