I don’t know what I believe. I tell E that her sister is in the flowers, the grass, the trees, the sky, the stars, the water. I tell her that what she was, not just her body, but what she was, has returned to the living world around us, has become part of what animates that world, what makes flowers look so pretty and smell so sweet. I tell E we can look for her in the blue sky, the starry sky, the heart-shaped leaves, the fallen petals we find on the sidewalk. I tell her all these things, but I don’t know if I believe them.
I want to.
I think that is enough: to want to believe.
I know we carry her with us. I know we carry her heart in our hearts.