My second daughter was due to be born on March 29, 2012. Instead, she was stillborn at 29 weeks on January 14. I miss her enormously.

I live with R, our daughter E, who was three years old when her sister, Anja, died, and M, the little brother born almost 16 months later.

If you stumble across this and you think you might know me, I would appreciate you telling me you’re reading here. I would also appreciate you keeping it just between you and me. I don’t want anyone to feel hurt that I haven’t shared this space with them, but I have needed this to be all my own: safe, secure, and for now, secret except to those other members of this terrible ‘club.’


3 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hello,

    I just wanted to say hello to you. My daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks at the end of November. I found your blog today, and like you, am trying to finish a dissertation as I struggle with the sorrow and the loneliness. Many things you wrote resonate with me deeply. I wish I knew you in person.

    Best wishes,

    • Oh, Pinar. I am so very sorry about the stillbirth of your daughter. I really struggled with my dissertation for several months after Anja died; I just didn’t care about it anymore and if I hadn’t been so close to finishing it, I think I would’ve abandoned it. If you would like someone to talk to, I can email you.

      • Thank you. Yes, I would like to have your email. I am supposed to defend in a few months, but finding it so hard to concentrate- and navigate the ‘job market.”

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